


Stealing Spots And Painting Cocks

by kfo



Category: One Direction
Genre: Again sort of, Bottom Louis, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Meet-Cute, Strangers to Lovers, Teacher Louis, Top Harry, first fic, kind of, nouis friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 04:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12622936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kfo/pseuds/kfo
Summary: Someone has been parking in Louis’ spot. Niall and Louis spark up a plan to get revenge by using a subject they are very familiar with, cocks, well spray-painted cocks to be exact. When Louis sneaks to the car to paint one, he doesn’t expect the owner to be there, or for the owner to be drop-dead gorgeous. Sometimes love is better than revenge.





	Stealing Spots And Painting Cocks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ishiplouis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishiplouis/gifts).



> Hey friends! Sorry if this is not up to par with the other great fics you have read, but this is my first one and it was more just for the fun or writing! Hope you enjoy this quick read and it makes u feel happy inside. Thanks guys and have a good weekend.
> 
>  

Louis was not easily off-put. Well, maybe that's not completely true, he had been known to curse at inanimate objects, but there was always reasoning to backup his annoyance. This was no exception.

It all started when some bastard parked their, rather horrendous might he add, Volvo 240 outside the door to his flat for the fourth time that week. After the first incident he thought hey, a lad was short on time and needed someplace to park, that's fair. That one-time-accident soon became a second, third, and now fourth? Louis would not stand to being forced out of his pristine spot to the one all the way at the end of the block next to the rancid smelling fast-food joint. If there was one thing he wasn’t it was a pushover, and there was no way in hell he was going to start because some pretentious Volvo owner doesn't know boundaries. Naturally, Louis went to the only person he knew would help. 

“Niall” yelled Louis has he entered his flat. While the irish lad didn't technically live in the flat with him, he slept their often enough that it was basically shared. Maybe Louis should be stiffy that he didn't pay rent, but the extra company after work was pleasant, and truthfully Louis was uncertain if anyone on the planet wouldn't want to spend time with Niall. His cheerful attitude was exactly what would help Louis in his most recent scheme. 

“Yes, Boobear?” replied the blonde in an overly sweet voice. “Have a nice time with the little devils you are paid to spend time with?” Louis rolled his eyes at the nickname. Niall overhears a conversation with his mum one time and suddenly he's ruined for life. “Yes. Well, Daniel lost his dinosaur sticker and had a good cry that ruined reading time, but other than that it was nice.” Louis shook his head, attempting to clear his head. “I had something to tell you, though. Much more important than dinosaurs” he said, moving to sit on the couch beside Niall. The ladder repositioned himself so his legs were now resting on Louis’ thighs. Louis absentmindedly played with the hems of his khakis, trying to string together the right words to properly express his frustration and how important this problem really was. 

“Spill” encouraged Niall as he poked the other boy in the side. “Remember that girl from my class I told you about last week, Jess. She kept on taking the other kids’ crayons and such, without asking permission. She just took them, like they were hers?” He spared a quick glance at his friend and immediately let out a huff. “Okay, Niall? I know you do not recall Jess or the crayons but, please just listen for one moment and it will all make sense. Basically we had to have a nice chat with the whole class about understanding the difference of yours, mine, and ours and after that, the little ones all knew to ask before taking what belonged to someone else. They are seven, yet they understood this concept perfectly once it was explained. So, let me tell you, I was not happy when someone who had to be over the age of sixteen, probably sixty based on their car choices, parked in the spot right in front of my flat for the fourth time in one week! Do they not realize that that has to belong to someone, and that some newbie can't just swoop in and take what is rightfully mine? So yeah, basically some guy has been parking in my spot, the one I’ve been parking at for years. They mustn't be daft enough to think that a spot directly in front of an apartment is unused? The point is Niall, that this person has no right to put me out of my spot, and we have to put a stop to this.” Louis finished, slightly out of breath from his lengthy spiel. Hoping his friend would agree upon the need for repercussions of this heinous crime, he shot Niall a glance.

“I’ll begin by saying, mate, you are being way too dramatic. When are you not, though? My little drama queen.” Niall said as he ruffled the brunet’s hair, laughing at the annoyed glare he got in return. “For real though, this spot-stealer seems like a wanker. I’m game for whatever you want to do to get what's yours. Well, as long as it doesn't involve, like, hospitalization or anything serious” he finished. “Don't be ridiculous Niall, that was one time! How was I supposed to know they were allergic to cats? Anyways, I’m thinking we go for a classic ‘dick-on-the-car’ type deal.” “You want to...rub your dick on their car?” Niall questioned, letting out a confused laugh. “Don't be dense, we’re gonna spray paint a cock and a ‘beware’ type message on their Volvo, so that they, and everyone in the vicinity, know not to mess with the Tommo ever again.” Niall playfully cooed and pinched the smaller boy’s cheeked, “It’s adorable when you act tough Lou.” Which of course, resulted in a slightly-bruised Niall.

The duo waited a day after their first talk about the spot-stealer-situation (SSS) to go over details for their impeding prank. It wasn't very well-thought or advanced, but it did require some talk before to make sure it all went swimmingly. After they figured out a time, (he was parked their at 3:30pm last Saturday, so he probably will be again) a supplier, (Zayn, who else would have spray paint and shares a mischievous mind?) and all the other various things that needed going over like what to wear, (yes, that is important) everything was finally ready for tomorrow.

“What time is it?” Louis asked from his spot on too of Niall. “One in the morning” he grumbled, pushing his further into the pillow on the couch. Louis decided he would have a better sleep in his own bed, compared to staying with Niall and the pizza box on the couch. He bent down to plant a goodnight kiss on the almost asleep boy, who-gross-smelt like spoiled beer and pepperoni, and then retreated to his big, soft bed.

It wasn't long after he got into bed that he started to daydream the possibilities of his plans for the next day. There was a small part of Louis, a tiny insignificant part, that felt guilt for what he would do. What if it was a kind old lady, who happened to be confused over which spots were available and not? He rolled over in bed, attempting to shake the ‘be the bigger person’ thoughts out of his mind. Louis’ 5’9 stature, delicate frame, and stubborn attitude made him a stranger to being described as the ‘bigger person’, both physically and figuratively, and he wasn't going to start now. Besides, this chap was more likely a thoughtless, self-righteous, lad, not some sweet elderly nan. With the thought of soon-to-be-painted penis’ running through his brain, Louis drifted into a restful sleep.

It wasn't too hard to wake up the next day. His hangover headache was mild, and his body had been trained to have a solid 10pm-6am schedule based of his past couple years as a primary teacher. With a quick swipe of his thumb to shut off the alarm, Louis made way to the kitchen to start off his day with a warm cup of yorkshire tea. Once it was done steeping, he went on course to wake Niall.

The british boy padded into the living room in his bare feet. Niall was not one for sleeping, or doing anything for that matter, gracefully, so it came to no surprise when Louis was met with a mess of drool, snores and rancid morning-breath dozing on his couch. He seated himself on the sleeping boy, shocking him awake. Niall lurched into a semi-seated position and have a shout of “that's par you bloody wanker”, evidently still stuck in the world of the unconscious. “G’Morning” Louis greeted from his place on top of the other. His voice was slightly lighter and held less spark than it did later on in the day. “Good morning to you to, little shit. Do you truly find it necessary to plop your ginormous bum on me as wake up instead of, I don't know, nudging my shoulder?” Mornings were never Niall’s forte, which was reason to his uncharacteristically snappy mood. Luckily it was fixed with about five minutes time and promise of cuddles and leftover pizza, after he had brushed his teeth, of course.

“Niall! We have to get to Zayn and Liam’s flat now if he want to have to time to spray the bastard’s car while they're still parked. Let's go, Blondie!” He was growing more frustrated by the second, Niall always insisted he was “ready”, but when the time came to part he hadn't even begun. After a couple more minutes of scurrying around, looking for hats, and tying trainers, the duo was off to step one (of two…) of their great prank.

The only problem that really got in the way was the lovable, but painstakingly rule-following, Liam Payne, boyfriend and flat-mate of Zayn Malik. Though it wouldn't lead to their downfall, a stern talking to was unavoidable if they wanted to borrow spray paint from his boyfriend for a less than legal reason. Louis gave a couple knocks on the door. There was a time when it was only Zayn who lives in the place, when Louis could walk in as he pleased. Though he still could in theory- Zayn never locked his doors- he did not want a repeat of last time he walked in unannounced. Let's just say it involved many moans and a lot more of two of his mates bollocks’ than he would have liked to see. So, waiting the extra couple seconds it took for someone to answer the door was definitely preferable compared to the alternative. The two greeted Niall and him at the door, Liam with a warm smile and Zayn with a look of annoyance evident on his features, most likely to do the early rise.

“Hello lads, happy to be off for the week?” Niall greeted, ever so friendly, and walked into their home. “Well good morning to you too, Niall.” Liam said with a laugh. “What can we do for you two?” he questioned, now facing Louis. “We just wanted to see your faces, of course!” Louis replied in a smile that bled with hidden mischief. Zayn led the boys to the living room with a sigh, knowing that the two troublemakers wouldn't be at their door at 9 in the morning without a dumb scheme. 

“So, Louis and Niall, what do you need, for real?” Zayn said as Liam poured them both a cup of tea. Before Louis could dramatically retell his story of spot-stealing, cruelty, and a magnificent solution, Niall butted in with a quick recap of the issue and what they needed. Though Louis was a bit miffed at being interrupted, he knew that Niall’s irish voice, joyous attitude and pleading eyes would most likely provide better aid to getting what they needed from the couple than his would have.

“So can we pretty please use your spray paint, Zayn? I promise it's only one cock, and c’mon the wanker took poor Lou’s spot” the blonde said as he pointed at the aforementioned boy next to him, who in turn pulled the most innocent look he could muster. Which, was pretty goddamn cute, even to Zayn and Liam. They shared a look. Louis had always found it bizarre how couples could have conversations without sharing a word, like they were one soul in two bodies. His heart gave a slight lurch, a slight yearning for a partner who he could share that connection with flowing through him. Louis gave a subtle shake and returned to watching the two boys, who happened to be deciding his fate. Liam gave a look that seemed to say “they'll do it even if we don't help them..so why not” and with a final sigh from Zayn, he turned to Niall and Louis. “Okay lads, but if you interrupt my beauty rest one more time then I’m locking you out permanently”. Not a second after he finished the sentence, his arms were full with the slight bodies of two over-excited young men. “We love you Zayn, oh and you Liam, c’mere you oaf!” Niall screeched as he pulled the taller lad into the group hug. Okay, so maybe they were a little too excited for spray paint, but Louis wanted justice, and Niall, well he just got giddy really easily. 

Ten minutes later Niall and Louis were leaving the flat, this time with a can of white spray paint, instructions on how to use it, and a hunger for revenge.

“So, Louis, do you know the plan?” Niall asked for probably the 28th time that day. “God Niall, do you think I’m dense? Wait on the sidewalk, casually of course, for them to park their car. When they’re out of sight I’ll quickly spray paint a massive dick on the side of that dumb car.” Louis giggled with glee at that part. “After that I’m free for the day, I’ve got some of the kids’ projects to go throug. Oh, you and I also have to keep a lookout for the window, we don't know when the chump will return to the car, and Niall, we will definitely want to be there to see their face when they see what I painted. It’ll be brilliant. Bless you for helping me with this, you irish prince!” Louis said as he planted a kiss on his cheek, always being a rather touchy boy. “Of course, I’d always help you Loubear.” Niall then gave him a pat on the bum and an order to get to his post outside. Everything was to go perfect, and Louis would hopefully never have to see the Volvo again. 

Everything did not go perfectly. It started on track, Louis waited in front of his house, and the spot, for the car to park. Due to his knowledge from the past week of this cars parking schedule, Louis knew around what time they would park, so he only waited for around ten minutes. He attempted to look subtle by glancing at his phone, but he couldn't help to look up as the person got out of the car, he wanted to see the wanker. Louis was not prepared for what got out of the car.

Standing a mere six feet in front of him was the most breathtaking man he had seen in, well, forever. His face alone, looked as if it was carved, features both well defined, yet effortlessly smooth and unique. His hair was short, curls beginning to form near the ends, and a rich chocolate brown. His legs were long and lean, much like the rest of him. Wow, was Louis a sucker for a tall man. The idea of this mystery man’s emerald eyes gazing down at him, full of hunger and want, was enough to make his cock give a twitch of arousal. 

That thought made Louis’ mind clear ever so slightly, enough to get him to remember the task at hand. Cock, spray paint, spot-stealer. This gorgeous, tall, strong armed, leaving his car was also the reason to Louis parking a block away. Despite his clear good looks, Louis’ lack of sex for the past seven months, and an hole that needed filling, he couldn't give into his obvious desire. A car spot was more important than sex right? Maybe not, but Louis was a stubborn fuck, and he couldn't let himself down, no matter how much he wanted to climb that mystery man and see if he tasted as good as he looked. 

Louis gave his head a shake and walked to the Volvo. The man had walked into the new no-sugar bakery beside Louis’ apartment, which was turnoff enough to get him to focus on pranking the guy. C’mon, no-sugar desserts shouldn't exist in this already grim world. He gave the can a few shakes, somewhat remembering Zayn’s instructions, and went to work.

A minute in and he was finished the balls and onto the shaft, perfection takes time, and Louis had plenty. At least that's what he thought before he heard a deep voice interrupt his masterpiece. “Um, what is going on?” It was equal parts confused, angry, deep, and all parts sexy. But Louis didn't have time to enjoy the husky sexiness of it due to his blood running cold and heart forgetting to pulse. He didn't plan for the guy to go back to his car, or to be this attractive.

He could try to muster a semi-believable lie, but not even Louis could come up with a decent excuse for drawing a nutsack on a total stranger's vehicle. He opted for honesty.

“Well...you see this is my spot.” Louis began quietly. “I park here everyday, but the past week this car-or I guess you-have been using it.” He started to gain more confidence in his tone, remembering how pissed he was. “Yeah, you have been using it and forcing me to park all the way at the end of the block. So I thought to assert my ownership of this parking place I would paint a dick on your car.” Louis finished his rant, happy to have said it with minimal stuttering. He looked up at the green-eyed man, his face in shock.

“Okay let's see if I understood that. That's your flat, and you park in the spot my car is currently in. This bothers you. But instead of talking to me like a proper human, you wait until I leave, and paint a, quite unflattering, cock on my car to scare me off. Do you hear how mental that sounds?” The man said with a laugh. He was still angry about the car, but mostly confused at why someone would go through this extra effort. 

Louis was at a loss, it did sound rather silly once he heard it aloud. “Okay I realize how this seems dumb. But I was, am, rather pissed and what if you were a crazy rapist who couldn't be reasoned with. Or some old man stuck in his ways. How was I supposed to know the owner of the car was gonna be young and normal and fit.” It all came out it in a rush, before he had time to process what he was saying. When he did, heat rushed to his cheeks and he quickly went to fix his fringe in nervousness. Louis really has to learn to hold his tongue sometimes. First he gets caught spray painting this bloke’s car, then he confesses his feelings of attraction? He is going to think he's mental. What if he's not even into men?

But when Louis looks up, he’s not met with a face of judgement, but the stranger's face seems to have softened. Louis relaxes slightly, but still feels the need to cover his tracks.

“Well like, objectively attractive. And um, has a pleasant face opposed to the one that would hurt me if confronted about parking.” He says, but his slight stutter and pink cheeks speak differently. The boy lets out a loud laugh. “Well I am certainly glad I don't have a face that looks like it would hurt people. I’m not one for violence. I did feel some less-than-kind emotions when I saw some pink spray painting my car a few minutes ago though, but he ended up being exceptionally cute so I let it slide.” He said with a wink that effectively turned Louis’ insides into a pile of goo. “My name’s Harry by the way. Do you also have a name, or should I just refer to you as cock-painter?” His voice was slow like molasses and left Louis dazed for a couple seconds before responding. 

“Though cock-painter does have a certain ring to it, I think I’d prefer Louis. Which is my actual name, if that wasn't clear.” He decided to be a little cheeky, seeing that was how the other boy was acting as well.

“Well Louis, this may be the most odd circumstance I’ve ever asked this, but are you free tonight for drinks?” He flashed a smile, and wow his dimples were even nicer up close.

“I’d love to. My only solid plan today way to spray paint a dick on your car, but I must say doing this with you sounds much more appealing.”

“It sounds more appealing to me as well, I must say.” Harry laughed again. It was such a bright and pleasant sound, Louis pondered over making it his ring tone. “See you tonight at 7:00? Fortunately I work at the bakery next to yours, so I could pick you up and we drive together?” 

His stomach hadn't stopped producing butterflies this entire conversation, Harry was so damn gorgeous. “That sounds wonderful, Harry. See you tonight.” 

Before he turned he decided he had one last thing to say. “Just because I’m going for drinks doesn't mean I’m letting you continue to use my spot.” Louis said jokingly, but with a hint of seriousness. Just because he wanted Harry to pin him down and fuck him raw didn't mean he didn't remember how this all started! 

Harry giggled loudly. “Of course Lou, you’ll get your spot back no problem. No more cocks though, or at least not painted ones.” With that he turned, leaving the smaller boy with excitement in his tummy, hearts in his eyes, and blood rushing to his dick at the title of “Lou”.

It wasn’t long before Louis was pacing around his bedroom, trying to wrap is mind around how amazingly screwed up it was that he had a date with the bloody volvo owner in thirty-two minutes. His wardrobe was very limited to bright coloured pants and sweaters, you know, things that elementary schoolers (and Louis himself) rather enjoyed. Eventually he decided upon a medium blue button down and black skinny jeans that Niall has ever so politely informed him made his ‘arse look fucking edible’.

Though he felt ready, his mind was going a mile a minute. What if it didn’t go well? What if the beautiful Harry thought he was annoying, or not as good looking once he really got to look at him, or maybe they just wouldn’t click without the added spontaneity as before. Man, Louis really liked this guy. He didn’t usually get like this about men.

With only a couple minutes before he had to leave, Louis popped in a mint, fiddled with his fringe, and packed some extra lube and condoms in his bag because, well, he was never known for being a prude. Especially with men with as nice of hair and broad of shoulders as fine Harrold. So, Louis was out the door and off to meet his date, feeling as giddy as one of his students on show-and-tell day. 

The dinner went amazing. Louis and Harry made conversation like they had been mates for years, but still had the spark of lovers in the honeymoon stage. Louis told stories about the terrors of third-graders, making Harry bark out in laughter, and Louis swooned from Harry’s passion for baking. The two learned much about each other, and Louis thought that with every endearingly slow word that passed through Harry’s mouth, he became more beautiful. And Harry, he fell a little deeper every time Louis let out a sharp-toothed smile, fixed his fringed, or blushed at his affections. Though neither of them said anything aloud, they both felt that the other might be the one. 

They didn’t really have to say anything though, for after dinner the night became a little more intimate in Harry’s flat. Louis wasn’t one to give it up on the first date, but with Harry he didn’t feel like he was giving anything up. They were simply showing their emotions for each other, with lots of lube, of course.

Louis was out of breath, and they hadn’t even gotten to the good part yet. Just by seeing Harry’s long legs and sweaty hair, his lustful eyes but still shining smile, Louis was a mess. Louis put his hands on the sides of Harry’s face, and tilted his head up to taste his mouth. Boy, was it as sweet as the goodies he made. Harry wrapped his arms around his dainty shoulders, leaving Louis with a feeling of warmth and security, on top of making his pants even tighter. He’d always have a thing for feeling small and protected, especially with a guy as strong and sweet as Harry. Louis looked up into the other’s green eyes, asking a question without words. “You sure, love? We can always take things slow.” Harry asked the other, wanting to make sure they were on the same terms before making the next step. “Yes” he rasped and went in for another kiss. Harry took charge, and gently forced Louis to the bed below, all while remaining kissing. 

Louis wasn’t usually this sappy, but wow, being with Harry was a whole nother level of bliss. Harry lubed up fingers alone took him to cloud nine, stretching him in anticipation for the main attraction.”Harrrrry. I’m ready. Please, please. I want you” he begged. Harry was happy to please, clearly, and gave the submitting boy below him his throbbing cock. 

“You’re alright, Louis? Everything good? God, you look so damn pretty full of me. You look pretty all the time, or at least for the hours I’ve known you, but right now is just incredible” Harry breathed out as he pushed in and out with a gentle force. “Harry, your voice is beautiful, and this may be the fastest you’ve spoken since we met, but please quiet and continue what you’re doing.” said Louis, resulting in a burst of Laughter from the boy above, but he complied. 

Harry could tell Louis was nearing climax. His face was scrunched up cutely, breathing deep and heavy and back beginning to arch. “Harry I-“ but he didn’t get to finish thought for her Harry gave one final deep thrust into that sweet spot, and he melted into pure joy. Harry finished shortly after that, and the two were in incredible, sticky heaven. 

Louis woke up the next day, not totally knowing where he was, but feeling warm, happy, and sexed up. Two strong arms were wrapped around his naked torso, and the smell of yorkshire tea brewing in the kitchen. He turned in bed to face the beautiful face he had met just yesterday. “Good morning beautiful. Woke up a couple minutes ago to make tea, but couldn’t resist coming back to see your pretty face.” He said lowly, voice even deeper than it was yesterday, and that's saying something. Louis slapped lightly at his chest. “Stop being such a sap, Harold.” he said, but his blush spoke differently. “Aw you love it when I’m sweet, Lou” replied Harry, kissing his pretty pink cheeks. After a couple minutes of kissing and early morning giggles, Louis switched to his back to collect his thoughts.

“If you asked me yesterday where I’d be the next morning, the last place I’d say would have been the wanker who took my spot’s bed. But then, yesterday I didn’t know how gorgeous that wanker’s dimples were.” Louis joked and looked at Harry. “Wanker? Well this wanker is pretty glad he took the little firecracker’s spot, for he wouldn’t have met him, or his arse without it.” He replied happily.

While playing with those pretty curls, and lying in the remains of his best love making to date, Louis was preparing to say something horribly cute and cheesy. Then he noticed the Derby T-shirt hanging on the wall and immediately left the happy space he was in. Harry noticed the shift in mood and asked the matter. 

“How in the hell am I going to explain this to Niall.” “Who?”  
“You’ll know soon enough” finished Louis as he smacked a kiss back onto his mouth.


End file.
